ATTACHMENT THEORY ----------------- They're uncomfortable with growing emotionally bonded or close to someone else. It can actually be broken down into two subcategories: DISMISSIVE AVOIDANT ------------------- "Dismissive Avoidant" and "Fearful Avoidant. This kind of attachment theory usually carries on through adulthood and can affect relationships of all types. Wondering if avoidant attachment applies to you or a loved one? Here are signs of an avoidant attachment style: 1. You tend to suppress your emotions. --------------------------------------- You tend to supress your emotions. Were you taught to view emotional expressions as a weakness? Do you find that you're better off dealing with things internally? Do you tend to bottle your emotions and internally punish yourself for being vulnerable? People with avoidant attachment are uncomfortable disclosing their vulnerabilities and they may look down on people who are more emotionally vulnerable than themselves. 2 - You have trouble dealing with emotional intimacy. --------------------------------------- You have trouble with emotional intimacy Do you have difficulty with emotional expression in relationships? Do you keep conversations on a comfortable surface level or take extended periods of me-time? When you have an avoidant attachment style you shy away from emotional closeness, afraid to reveal too much about yourself. You struggle with not wanting to need others for anything. In relationships, this emotional distance can make other people confused, in Relationships... angry and they might even take it personally But the truth is it's actually a defense mechanism for you for you have extreme boundaries You have extreme boundaries. 3. You have extreme boundaries. --------------------------------------- This can go as far as restricting the amount of time you spend with others or refusing to share about certain parts of your life. We do want to emphasize that there is absolutely nothing wrong with boundaries. Having healthy boundaries is essential in maintaining healthy relationships. However, people who have excessive boundaries may appear distant or closed off. 4. You have shallow relationships. --------------------------------------- You have shallow relationships You like to keep relationships at a shallow level whether it be romantic or platonic? In a romantic relationship, you may refuse to meet your partner's family or avoid topics and situations that would turn the relationship into a more serious one. In a platonic relationship, you may refuse to go into emotional depth about yourself or have long conversations or see others that often. 5. Strong Independence. --------------------------------------- Strong independence. Are you extremely independent and self-focused? Did you have to fend for yourself at an early age? Independence by itself, isn't a bad thing. As children grow, they should be increasingly more comfortable with making decisions on their own. However, when children are forced to become independent too early due to neglect, they may develop a strong need to always solve problems on their own, rather than having developed a healthy level of self-sufficiency. 6. You have trust issues. --------------------------------------- You have trust issues. Did you get the proper attention and care you deserved as a child? If not, it's logical that you'd have a hard time trusting others throughout your life. Even in adulthood, you struggle to trust even in those closest to you and will try to distance yourself from wanting or receiving affection from others. 7. You're critical, on yourself and others. --------------------------------------- You may often find faults in those around you and this is more associated with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style. According to Joyce Catlett M.A. from Psych Alive, the trauma that most commonly associated with this attachment style empowers the minds' inner critical voice so much, that it actually overshadows their inner positive voice.